One day Shawna and I decide to leave for lunch. We head over to the local pizza place. As we start to pull in we see a “Homeless” guy holding up a sign that reads “Please help, god bless” The reason I put quotes around homeless is because he has a radio, a healthy looking dog and he looked pretty clean to me.
I start to complain about these fictitious homeless people and how I watched specials on their scams. We enter the restaurant and as I’m paying for the meal I ask for an application. Shawna takes a deep breath and says nothing since she knows what I’m thinking. We finish and get ready to go back to work.
I get in the car that I’m driving and begin to fold the paper into eights. Shawna getting nervous asks me not to do it. As we get closer to the stop she starts to squirm in her seat. I roll down the window and he approaches the car. I hand him the folded application, he thanks me, I say “You’re welcome, this should help you.” I’m stuck at the stop trying to make a left hand turn and Shawna is yelling at me to go!
Nervous as we speed out and burn rubber I realize I need gas. Shawna watches as the “homeless” guy opens his application and looks in the direction of the car. Oh my god Michele, can’t you drive any faster?! Yeah, but I need to get gas. Can’t you get it later? Yeah, but we might not make it back to work. I pull in across the street from where we were. I pump the gas while Shawna is frantically looking to see if the “homeless” guy will run across the street to give me his two cents. Oh wait, he’s homeless he doesn’t have two cents!!!
Friday, February 29, 2008
The Trainer Interview
Excited about this interview, I begin to gather my portfolio and questions off the printer that I will ask at the end to wow them. I’m in my button up black with white pokadot sheer shirt, my black slacks and platform open toed black shoes. Damn, I look cute! Off I go! This is a position within the same company however, in another building. I make my way to the car and have to walk over a grassy hill. Did I mention that it’s 9:30 and the morning dew has not had a chance to dry? On with the story. I begin to walk slowly up the little hill and now down sllllooowly…BAM! With the questions for the interviewer in hand I twist my ankle and fall straight on my ass! The paper never leaves my hand. I quickly get up and look around because some of my co-workers usually take a smoke break right about now. Don’t want them pointing and laughing BEFORE my interview and throw off my game. Phew, no one saw. I get into the car, fold my piece of paper in half and toss it in my oversized purse. I’m laughing hysterically and call Shawna to share in my stupidness. Sadly, she’s not as amused as I am. She wishes me luck and I hang up. I get to the building and limp to the front where I will meet the two people that are interviewing me.
Hi Michele, nice to see you. Come on in. Nice to see you too, as I limp closer. Okay, we’re going to the executive conference room UPstairs. I smile, of course it is. As they are already at the half way point and on to the next set of stairs I am only half way up the first set. They’re looking down at me like, what’s her problem? We finally make it to the conference room. Ah, I sit down (ankle pulsating). They go through the usual series of questions and I answer them with no hesitation (because my psychic told me nothing was changing in my job so what do I have to lose?) They ask at the end of their screening, Do you have any questions for us? I reach inside my purse for the folded piece of paper and open it up on the desk…my face, frozen in horror. The paper had grass stains, dirt stains, pieces of grass and the shape of my wedge heel in a dirt engraved manner. Omigod! What am I going to say? They’re sitting across from me? Oh, this is bad. One of the interviewers asks me if I’m okay. I have no choice but to tell her what happened. They laugh while trying to be concerned. I fold my arms and quickly go into my questions in a very professional manner. I leave with my dignity somewhat in tact. Three days later they made me an offer. A new chapter in my work life begins.
Hi Michele, nice to see you. Come on in. Nice to see you too, as I limp closer. Okay, we’re going to the executive conference room UPstairs. I smile, of course it is. As they are already at the half way point and on to the next set of stairs I am only half way up the first set. They’re looking down at me like, what’s her problem? We finally make it to the conference room. Ah, I sit down (ankle pulsating). They go through the usual series of questions and I answer them with no hesitation (because my psychic told me nothing was changing in my job so what do I have to lose?) They ask at the end of their screening, Do you have any questions for us? I reach inside my purse for the folded piece of paper and open it up on the desk…my face, frozen in horror. The paper had grass stains, dirt stains, pieces of grass and the shape of my wedge heel in a dirt engraved manner. Omigod! What am I going to say? They’re sitting across from me? Oh, this is bad. One of the interviewers asks me if I’m okay. I have no choice but to tell her what happened. They laugh while trying to be concerned. I fold my arms and quickly go into my questions in a very professional manner. I leave with my dignity somewhat in tact. Three days later they made me an offer. A new chapter in my work life begins.
GTE Interview
I am applying for a big company today and hoping to do well on the interview process. I have been unemployed for two months now and desperately need to work.
I meet two people whom I assume are conducting this interview. I am taken to a room. There is a desk, phone, piece of paper and a pen. The two people leave me in this room and advise they will be in the next room conducting the interview from there.
My phone rings and I answer in a professional manner naming the company, giving my name and asking how I can make their day the wonderful or whatever. I’m feeling good about this. They begin to ask me questions that I feel are no brainers. I start to doodle on this piece of paper. I write such things as: this interview’s lame, how easy was that question? I am not feeling the outcome because I cannot see their face. Do I impress them? My doodling gets more vulgar and I write: I just want to go home, they’re not going to hire me. Fuck this interview. Suck it. Let’s just get this over with. They thank me and say the interview is over and return to my room.
In they walk. Okay Michele, we have a few more interviews, we’ll be in touch with you. If you would just hand us the piece of paper we left for you you’re all set to go. As I swallow the huge lump in my throat I reach over for the doodle paper with obscene pictures and vulgar outbursts. I walk out with my head down.
A week later they called and if you could believe it they hired me. We never discussed the paper but I always wondered what they thought.
I meet two people whom I assume are conducting this interview. I am taken to a room. There is a desk, phone, piece of paper and a pen. The two people leave me in this room and advise they will be in the next room conducting the interview from there.
My phone rings and I answer in a professional manner naming the company, giving my name and asking how I can make their day the wonderful or whatever. I’m feeling good about this. They begin to ask me questions that I feel are no brainers. I start to doodle on this piece of paper. I write such things as: this interview’s lame, how easy was that question? I am not feeling the outcome because I cannot see their face. Do I impress them? My doodling gets more vulgar and I write: I just want to go home, they’re not going to hire me. Fuck this interview. Suck it. Let’s just get this over with. They thank me and say the interview is over and return to my room.
In they walk. Okay Michele, we have a few more interviews, we’ll be in touch with you. If you would just hand us the piece of paper we left for you you’re all set to go. As I swallow the huge lump in my throat I reach over for the doodle paper with obscene pictures and vulgar outbursts. I walk out with my head down.
A week later they called and if you could believe it they hired me. We never discussed the paper but I always wondered what they thought.
If you love something set it free
This kind of goes hand in hand with bring your pet to work day. If you haven’t read it already go back and read it first to really appreciate this.
Mini-me has made a pretty good recovery, the cast and the lampshade are all off. My sister lives at home with my mom and is playing with him in the kitchen. She put a coconut in the cage and Mini-me was rolling around in it, eating out of it and just being naturally silly. My sister calls my mom at work to tell her it. With mom instinct in the air my mom says “make sure the slider is shut so he doesn’t fly away.”
My sister brushing my mom off (as she usually does) says he’s not going to fly away, he doesn’t have enough strength yet. My mom hangs up the phone rolling her eyes and goes back to work. Ten minutes later my mom is paged. Brenda: you have a call on line one. Ugh. She answers the phone. Mom, Mini-me flew up in the tree and I can’t get him down! My mom leaves work, goes home and tries to bribe Mini-me out of the tree with some crab meat (which he loves). As he climbs down the branch to take a bite he’s about to fall so he tries to fly. Successful, he flies away never to be seen again.
If you love something set it free. If he comes back to you then you got your $1500 dollars worth. If he doesn’t…………….
Mini-me has made a pretty good recovery, the cast and the lampshade are all off. My sister lives at home with my mom and is playing with him in the kitchen. She put a coconut in the cage and Mini-me was rolling around in it, eating out of it and just being naturally silly. My sister calls my mom at work to tell her it. With mom instinct in the air my mom says “make sure the slider is shut so he doesn’t fly away.”
My sister brushing my mom off (as she usually does) says he’s not going to fly away, he doesn’t have enough strength yet. My mom hangs up the phone rolling her eyes and goes back to work. Ten minutes later my mom is paged. Brenda: you have a call on line one. Ugh. She answers the phone. Mom, Mini-me flew up in the tree and I can’t get him down! My mom leaves work, goes home and tries to bribe Mini-me out of the tree with some crab meat (which he loves). As he climbs down the branch to take a bite he’s about to fall so he tries to fly. Successful, he flies away never to be seen again.
If you love something set it free. If he comes back to you then you got your $1500 dollars worth. If he doesn’t…………….
Can you feel the love tonight?
It was a birthday present for my son. Three tickets to see the Lion King. Me, Keith and his dad. Off we went.
I actually enjoyed this. My son actually enjoyed this. The play has an intermission. We grab some food and drinks and return to our seats to watch the rest.
As the play is coming to an end and all the characters are gathering to take a last bow I pull my digital camera out. I take a picture (flash, flash, flash). In the darkness it really stands out. No big deal, right? WRONG! The security guard is trying to get my attention and I know why so I choose to ignore him. I am in the middle of the row so he can’t get to me to easily. I keep looking straight ahead and begin plotting my escape (in my head the Mission Impossible music is playing). When everyone gets up I’ll go the other way and it will be so crowded he’ll lose me. Wrong again. The lady sitting to my right keeps elbowing me and saying he is trying to get your attention, he wants you, he’s trying to talk to you. Shut up already! Can’t you see I’m ignoring you too? I continue to look straight ahead. People are getting up to leave and he’s got a security guard on the other side with flashlights in hand. Alright, I give up. You got me.
I get up, hands in the air and walk towards the security guard. He asks for my camera. He deletes the picture from the camera and says I’m not allowed to take pictures. Oh, I say. I didn’t know. Well, it says in the pamphlet. Yeah, I didn’t read it. My son and his dad hold their heads down in shame and we walk out of the theater. Happy Birthday Keith! May you never forget this day.
I actually enjoyed this. My son actually enjoyed this. The play has an intermission. We grab some food and drinks and return to our seats to watch the rest.
As the play is coming to an end and all the characters are gathering to take a last bow I pull my digital camera out. I take a picture (flash, flash, flash). In the darkness it really stands out. No big deal, right? WRONG! The security guard is trying to get my attention and I know why so I choose to ignore him. I am in the middle of the row so he can’t get to me to easily. I keep looking straight ahead and begin plotting my escape (in my head the Mission Impossible music is playing). When everyone gets up I’ll go the other way and it will be so crowded he’ll lose me. Wrong again. The lady sitting to my right keeps elbowing me and saying he is trying to get your attention, he wants you, he’s trying to talk to you. Shut up already! Can’t you see I’m ignoring you too? I continue to look straight ahead. People are getting up to leave and he’s got a security guard on the other side with flashlights in hand. Alright, I give up. You got me.
I get up, hands in the air and walk towards the security guard. He asks for my camera. He deletes the picture from the camera and says I’m not allowed to take pictures. Oh, I say. I didn’t know. Well, it says in the pamphlet. Yeah, I didn’t read it. My son and his dad hold their heads down in shame and we walk out of the theater. Happy Birthday Keith! May you never forget this day.
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